This is just funny to me - I wrote this rant some time ago, but it really still rings true when you think about it. I wish everyone thought this way....
Just a little bit of info on cars- feel me on this one:
(clearing throat)
If you change the engine, but don't change the tires, how new of a vehicle are you really working with?? Putting high mileage oil into a new car does not make any sense - a new approach is needed to make it work properly. If you keep bringing old parts from the PREVIOUS vehicle, why would one expect the new car to work? Why have a new car at all?? If the old car gave you MANY problems and you are indeed grateful to be rid of it and it's constant complications, then BE HAPPY that lemon is SOMEONE ELSE'S problem to worry about.
Contrary to popular belief, new cars can break down quickly due to misuse because the are mostly controlled by computers, therefore rendered SMARTER but also less likely to respond to a quick fix or short glance under the hood. Something as minor as not putting oil in a new car could cause MAJOR problems and shut for whole vehicle down. So, constant care is needed. The old car may have been okay with sporadic care because of it's make, model and year...and perhaps it required less because it didn't always come through for you when you needed it. Maybe it ran OUT on you when you needed it most, so it took whatever it got at the time, perhaps out of guilt...BUT you are working with a CLASSIER make and MODEL now, that is ready for new roads and terrain that the old car was never capable of, or even had the BUILD to attempt.
Trust and believe that as smart as the new car may be, and as much as it may tend to adapt itself to the owner - sometimes the fit isn't right. And if the owner brings the past troubles of the old car into the running life of the new car, chances are the life of the new vehicle may be shorter than previously expected...And Armor All can't fix everything.
But I'm just a girl, so I shouldn't know much about cars, right? Now read the above again but apply it to relationships and tell me if this didn't make perfect sense....Just food for thought.
2/14/09
I'm Tired of Being Sexy
Yeah I said it - and I'm not taking it back. Some men thinks it's cool to "compliment" a women and call her SEXY, but that's such an easy thing to say and it's also subjective to the beholder's eye. So, this was a rant, a plead if you will for men to come up with something different for once, because believe me, we've heard it all...
I'm tired of being sexy.
Believe me it's a blessing,
a gift I'm appreciative of, but a curse
wrapped so nicely,
tightly bound by a good shape
a nice face
and long legs
making y'all beg, plead, deceive
speed on that wave of hope that you'll achieve
one night.
But I'm tired of being sexy because there's MORE.
Surely I don't implore you to move with eyes wide shut
but I wish y'all would open up
cut past the obvious
I don't doubt how hard it is
yeah I know how wet it is
you don't think I work at this?
This shit ain't easy.
While you're trying to please me,
kiss these lips,
I'm trying to dismiss the myth
that we are limited to just "THIS".
While y'all throwing all these moves
I want to prove that there's more
than your temporary needs I can soothe.
Lemme provide lubrication to ease your mind.
Bind you into submission with my inner vision.
Make you cum to your senses
Prevent you from going over that
Bullshit fence called "I don't know, we're chilling, but you're cool....
let's keep it 'Gray'
What ever happened to Black and White?
This must be fun to y'all right?
And all we really hear is:
"I can fuck you right now, can wife you til my shit's tight"
It's like that song I heard, Sunshine got it right
she said I heard it all before....
And it's really a shame.
Can't say I blame you,
a lot of us women have the same views
I'm done hearing me complain too
But just once
a line like such
might make me hush for one moment like:
"Damn she got a fat BRAIN!"
"Did you see the LOYALTY on her?"
"Yo...she rode my EMOTIONS like crazy."
Please feel me...
This gets old for us.
Trust we enjoy the comments about our butts
how y'all damn near BUST off a memory of that
night of lust.
But just because we take our time
to look this FINE
doesn't mean you should feel less inclined
to find us to be a good catch
in reasonable time.
I know this sounds crazy....
A rookie on the fast track to vet status
barely attempting the apparatus.
But if settling for early pension
would release this neverending tension
then sign me up
and buy me a shirt that says
"I'm RE-fucking-TIRED of being SEXY.
But this ain't the song cry of one woman's regret
It's for the conglomerate,
of how pissed we ALL get
when these dudes we've met
are so stuck, so set
on how we look blessed
in our little black dress
since our everyday attire ain't a beater and some sweats
We remain perplexed
it's like y'all seem to forget
that there's more to the pie
than the cut y'all expect.
But don't stress...
and don't get all emotional
this don't have to be about you.
But you're familiar with that saying about FITTINGS and SHOES.
Get a clue.
Prove there's more you value
than how ROCK our presence gets you
STOP living in the moment
reality checks are overdue.
Realize
the girl with those thighs
could be your LIFELONG prize
and while you checkin' out her size
she staring DEAD in your eyes
Dying to be refreshingly surprised.
So pop quiz, masters of the night
this lessons been given clearly.
But then again....
did you even really hear me?
I'm tired of being sexy.
Believe me it's a blessing,
a gift I'm appreciative of, but a curse
wrapped so nicely,
tightly bound by a good shape
a nice face
and long legs
making y'all beg, plead, deceive
speed on that wave of hope that you'll achieve
one night.
But I'm tired of being sexy because there's MORE.
Surely I don't implore you to move with eyes wide shut
but I wish y'all would open up
cut past the obvious
I don't doubt how hard it is
yeah I know how wet it is
you don't think I work at this?
This shit ain't easy.
While you're trying to please me,
kiss these lips,
I'm trying to dismiss the myth
that we are limited to just "THIS".
While y'all throwing all these moves
I want to prove that there's more
than your temporary needs I can soothe.
Lemme provide lubrication to ease your mind.
Bind you into submission with my inner vision.
Make you cum to your senses
Prevent you from going over that
Bullshit fence called "I don't know, we're chilling, but you're cool....
let's keep it 'Gray'
What ever happened to Black and White?
This must be fun to y'all right?
And all we really hear is:
"I can fuck you right now, can wife you til my shit's tight"
It's like that song I heard, Sunshine got it right
she said I heard it all before....
And it's really a shame.
Can't say I blame you,
a lot of us women have the same views
I'm done hearing me complain too
But just once
a line like such
might make me hush for one moment like:
"Damn she got a fat BRAIN!"
"Did you see the LOYALTY on her?"
"Yo...she rode my EMOTIONS like crazy."
Please feel me...
This gets old for us.
Trust we enjoy the comments about our butts
how y'all damn near BUST off a memory of that
night of lust.
But just because we take our time
to look this FINE
doesn't mean you should feel less inclined
to find us to be a good catch
in reasonable time.
I know this sounds crazy....
A rookie on the fast track to vet status
barely attempting the apparatus.
But if settling for early pension
would release this neverending tension
then sign me up
and buy me a shirt that says
"I'm RE-fucking-TIRED of being SEXY.
But this ain't the song cry of one woman's regret
It's for the conglomerate,
of how pissed we ALL get
when these dudes we've met
are so stuck, so set
on how we look blessed
in our little black dress
since our everyday attire ain't a beater and some sweats
We remain perplexed
it's like y'all seem to forget
that there's more to the pie
than the cut y'all expect.
But don't stress...
and don't get all emotional
this don't have to be about you.
But you're familiar with that saying about FITTINGS and SHOES.
Get a clue.
Prove there's more you value
than how ROCK our presence gets you
STOP living in the moment
reality checks are overdue.
Realize
the girl with those thighs
could be your LIFELONG prize
and while you checkin' out her size
she staring DEAD in your eyes
Dying to be refreshingly surprised.
So pop quiz, masters of the night
this lessons been given clearly.
But then again....
did you even really hear me?
The Wrong Train
So, one day I was on my way to a casting for an event for the premiere of Idlewild, and I was supposed to be in Harlem at a certain time that day. Well....somehow I took the wrong subway and ended up on my way to Queens (??). So, in order to not lose my complete sanity (anyone that's ridden a subway in NY, knows that all you can do is just wait for the next stop and not scream), I started writing and this is what I came up with....
Sometimes I think I might be on the wrong train.
It's had its equal shares of joys and pains but
At times I feel like the rain has surpassed an amount that is fair.
Dare I complain when my train keeps trucking along, while other peoples' songs have been cut short?
But I'm human and my sometimes ain't always, so I'll take this day to rant.
I'm always thankful but ignore the truth? I can't.
I had a plan in hand for the land I was about to explore.
I didn't sign up for what I've endured.
It had too many unbeaten trails I wasn't ready for.
Unfamiliar streets
So many occasions I wanted to retreat back to what was comfortable - ready to accept defeat.
But my Conductor Knight-Rided, auto-piloted so He could come talk to me.
Filled my tank full of faith I was gettin' low on
Gave me strength to go on
So I relaxed, tried to enjoy the ride, took it in stride, occupied myself
Played with the cards I was dealt
And I'm wondering what kind of game I'm playing
I can't play Poker, see I've been told I'm one of a kind
So I Go Fish but I hate wishing for a match
So I'm yelling Uno to a crowded car of people that ain't playin' with a full deck
Solitaire must be my best bet, I guess, what's left??
Just my mental space filled to capacity with loneliness.
The audacity of these temporary riders, liars leading me to believe they're strapped in 'til the final stop.
With their questionable motives, hoping to get me off track
Trying to vote me off my island but I swam back.
Inducing pollution so that my only solution is evolution
Resolution can't be one-ended, so keep it movin' is my conclusion.
This track's had so many curves and turns that I can't learn the route before it switches up on me.
I think my Conductor was testing me, making sure the bumps didn't get the best of me
Investing values in me that I can handle anything
And with Him I can.
One split moment I looked past my Conductor and swore I saw a brick wall
Guess it ain't for me to see it all
This train has moved so fast the the tracks got laid down in just enough time to avoid a crash.
See even when my mind's eye is blind, my Conductor guides my path.
He lifts any unneeded weight I can't take, gets the negative freight off my train.
Cargo detrimental to my journey so that only positivity remained
Making me think that perhaps this track's for me
I can't foresee the end, for He holds the schedule
Allowing light at the ends of my tunnels, so I'll stay hopeful.
That this isn't the wrong train, maybe just the wrong frame of mind
There will be lessons lived and learned - Reasons will come in due time.
And so will the wisdom - this moment of clarity is important.
Illuminating my path to those who are supportive - I won't force it.
The sun won't always shine through my window, but I've been equipped to adjust.
So I'll sit back and hold tight because in Him, I trust.
Sometimes I think I might be on the wrong train.
It's had its equal shares of joys and pains but
At times I feel like the rain has surpassed an amount that is fair.
Dare I complain when my train keeps trucking along, while other peoples' songs have been cut short?
But I'm human and my sometimes ain't always, so I'll take this day to rant.
I'm always thankful but ignore the truth? I can't.
I had a plan in hand for the land I was about to explore.
I didn't sign up for what I've endured.
It had too many unbeaten trails I wasn't ready for.
Unfamiliar streets
So many occasions I wanted to retreat back to what was comfortable - ready to accept defeat.
But my Conductor Knight-Rided, auto-piloted so He could come talk to me.
Filled my tank full of faith I was gettin' low on
Gave me strength to go on
So I relaxed, tried to enjoy the ride, took it in stride, occupied myself
Played with the cards I was dealt
And I'm wondering what kind of game I'm playing
I can't play Poker, see I've been told I'm one of a kind
So I Go Fish but I hate wishing for a match
So I'm yelling Uno to a crowded car of people that ain't playin' with a full deck
Solitaire must be my best bet, I guess, what's left??
Just my mental space filled to capacity with loneliness.
The audacity of these temporary riders, liars leading me to believe they're strapped in 'til the final stop.
With their questionable motives, hoping to get me off track
Trying to vote me off my island but I swam back.
Inducing pollution so that my only solution is evolution
Resolution can't be one-ended, so keep it movin' is my conclusion.
This track's had so many curves and turns that I can't learn the route before it switches up on me.
I think my Conductor was testing me, making sure the bumps didn't get the best of me
Investing values in me that I can handle anything
And with Him I can.
One split moment I looked past my Conductor and swore I saw a brick wall
Guess it ain't for me to see it all
This train has moved so fast the the tracks got laid down in just enough time to avoid a crash.
See even when my mind's eye is blind, my Conductor guides my path.
He lifts any unneeded weight I can't take, gets the negative freight off my train.
Cargo detrimental to my journey so that only positivity remained
Making me think that perhaps this track's for me
I can't foresee the end, for He holds the schedule
Allowing light at the ends of my tunnels, so I'll stay hopeful.
That this isn't the wrong train, maybe just the wrong frame of mind
There will be lessons lived and learned - Reasons will come in due time.
And so will the wisdom - this moment of clarity is important.
Illuminating my path to those who are supportive - I won't force it.
The sun won't always shine through my window, but I've been equipped to adjust.
So I'll sit back and hold tight because in Him, I trust.
2/12/09
How are You
Let's call this an introduction to myself - this is my favorite poem to spit... I was thinking about what would happen if I randomly said "Hello" to a stranger and he asked how I was....and I decided to tell him EXACTLY what was going on with me at that time.
How are you?
I'm fine. And you?
I'm good.
Who cares?
Not you.
One word can't define how I'm doing
So I'll describe 'til I ruin your expectations of a short reply
I'm anxious.
Anxious to know what IT's gonna be
WHO it's gonna be
And am I gonna be happy with what IT is
And when is THAT gonna be?
I'm frustrated
Frustrated with "if"
Dying to move to the land of "is" and "is not"
Seems to be light years away, these days
My rocket's losing gas
Gushing out fast
Need to patch that up
Before I crash
Land on "Maybe".
I'm afraid.
Afraid of losing half of me
23 chromosomes that gave me these eyes
This tenacity
The sweetheart in me
Struggling constantly with inevitability
SHE holds my sanity
And when she can't
Who got me?
I'm sure you have to go by now
Thought I'd fake it again somehow but
I'm tired
Tired of plastering this smile
This veneer is losing it's luster
Can't muster up enough sheen
To slip to a better state of mind
But yeah I'm fine.
And you?
I'm good.
Who cares?
Not you.
"Can" took a vacation
Subletted to "Can't"
Therefore I
Can't brush it off, the bristles are worn
Can't snap out of it, my fingers are torn
On hope's jagged edge
See this is where I live right now
Looking over the hedge
Wondering if it's true
That over there's a brighter hue.
I'm slipping.
Slipping on the buttons of life's Etch-O-Sketch
Straight lines are supposed to be easy
Right?
Not without light.
Wait...
Almost got it
FUCK.
Hit another bump
Shook my whole shit up.
So I here I am at the line once again
Ready to dash out the blocks
Sneaks got stolen
I'm workin with socks
Holes in those
Squinting to see my lane
It's starting to rain
This could get tricky
Like Bambi's try at ice
Wasn't pretty.
But I'm trying.
Trying to find my niche in a life with occupied corners
The middle of the floor isn't fun
Without someone to dance with
To Love
Laugh
Live
LIFE.
So I'm living.
Never giving up
Just get's tough
To brave the cold
When I just told myself to shed some layers
Let the sun touch my Soul.
I need relief
If relief were fresh air, my window would be painted open FOREVER
No matter the weather.
Things must get better.
They always do
Patience is a virtue
Never been more true.
You picked the WRONG one today
Weren't prepared for what I had to say
And I'm fresh outta sugar
Got too heavy
Price became too hefty
"Fuck it" was on sale
Displayed right next to TMI
So I apologize if I'm wasting your time
Took the other pill for a change
So I wasn't able to comply
With the required script
I know you ain't diggin' this dose of the real me
Lemme slip on the cloak again
Make it easy
Go 'head.
Repeat.
I'm ready.
How are you?
I'm fine. And you?
I'm good.
Who cares?
Not you.
How are you?
I'm fine. And you?
I'm good.
Who cares?
Not you.
One word can't define how I'm doing
So I'll describe 'til I ruin your expectations of a short reply
I'm anxious.
Anxious to know what IT's gonna be
WHO it's gonna be
And am I gonna be happy with what IT is
And when is THAT gonna be?
I'm frustrated
Frustrated with "if"
Dying to move to the land of "is" and "is not"
Seems to be light years away, these days
My rocket's losing gas
Gushing out fast
Need to patch that up
Before I crash
Land on "Maybe".
I'm afraid.
Afraid of losing half of me
23 chromosomes that gave me these eyes
This tenacity
The sweetheart in me
Struggling constantly with inevitability
SHE holds my sanity
And when she can't
Who got me?
I'm sure you have to go by now
Thought I'd fake it again somehow but
I'm tired
Tired of plastering this smile
This veneer is losing it's luster
Can't muster up enough sheen
To slip to a better state of mind
But yeah I'm fine.
And you?
I'm good.
Who cares?
Not you.
"Can" took a vacation
Subletted to "Can't"
Therefore I
Can't brush it off, the bristles are worn
Can't snap out of it, my fingers are torn
On hope's jagged edge
See this is where I live right now
Looking over the hedge
Wondering if it's true
That over there's a brighter hue.
I'm slipping.
Slipping on the buttons of life's Etch-O-Sketch
Straight lines are supposed to be easy
Right?
Not without light.
Wait...
Almost got it
FUCK.
Hit another bump
Shook my whole shit up.
So I here I am at the line once again
Ready to dash out the blocks
Sneaks got stolen
I'm workin with socks
Holes in those
Squinting to see my lane
It's starting to rain
This could get tricky
Like Bambi's try at ice
Wasn't pretty.
But I'm trying.
Trying to find my niche in a life with occupied corners
The middle of the floor isn't fun
Without someone to dance with
To Love
Laugh
Live
LIFE.
So I'm living.
Never giving up
Just get's tough
To brave the cold
When I just told myself to shed some layers
Let the sun touch my Soul.
I need relief
If relief were fresh air, my window would be painted open FOREVER
No matter the weather.
Things must get better.
They always do
Patience is a virtue
Never been more true.
You picked the WRONG one today
Weren't prepared for what I had to say
And I'm fresh outta sugar
Got too heavy
Price became too hefty
"Fuck it" was on sale
Displayed right next to TMI
So I apologize if I'm wasting your time
Took the other pill for a change
So I wasn't able to comply
With the required script
I know you ain't diggin' this dose of the real me
Lemme slip on the cloak again
Make it easy
Go 'head.
Repeat.
I'm ready.
How are you?
I'm fine. And you?
I'm good.
Who cares?
Not you.
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