Thank You

On the day I discovered my home church in September 2013, all of these feelings gushed out. It was very important that I do this for myself and I went alone. I immediately knew it was where I was supposed to be. When I arrived home, this is what came out:

Lord, please accept my tears as my acceptance of you into my heart,
Washing your grace and glory over me.
I feel weak with the evil You are ripping out of me with every sob
I feel You deep within my soul
mending broken seams
It seems I've been distant, not away just not as close as I should be to You
So these tears are an apology
A decree that I thank you for welcoming me back Lord
I've stored up so many shortcomings and masked them with foundation and blush
But the foundation is You.
You brought forth these tears
So that my true self is revealed
Humbled and bowed down before You
Swaying me with melodies of praise and worship
Praying the seeds You've bestowed upon me
Are sewn in your Image
Your light.
I wish my salt to sprinkle upon those who need me
And with your help, I will walk your path.

Lord, the heaves overtaking my small frame
Are a reminder that things are so much bigger than me
Hence I receive what is happening to me physically
Is only the start of what You will be to me in this Light
Darkness is defined as merely the absence of light
So please shine your beam over the corners that no one else dare touch
Illuminate the dank, foul pieces of me that have spoiled
Heal me.
Restore me.
I implore thee, please keep showing me the way
I walked into your house today feeling lost yet guided
And was provided such warmth and welcoming that I knew your hand held mine as I took steps in.
You carried me and said
"Listen my child, I love you."
"Let my earthly disciples speak my words"
”Hear Me.”
And with that, streams poured out
Not of sadness
But a release that finally, I am where you want me
A release that halted resistance
I felt no shame as your beams bursted out within me
Displayed in life's water
I welcome it.
Please continue to work on me, Lord
And however I show my gratitude
I know you will receive it with open arms
Just as your vessels did with me today
Thank you.