I Hope My Words Reach You

I Hope My Words Reach You


I hope my words reach you

Teach you a few things you didn't know

See, many think they have me figured out

By labels

By appearance

By highlights

But my writing, greater than any assumption

Is a window into my truth.

I hope when you look in

That you see all of me

Not just what looks good

But the ugly scars I've covered up from falling

My calling, I believe

Is for you to relate

For you to take in my reality

And realize we've all been "here"

That you're not alone

That the human experience is bound together by Love

Pain

And Suffering.

I'm not buffering you from my darkness

You're in

The only sin is if you don't lean IN

And ask a question or two

I'm opening the door for you...

So I'll let you drive where we go

Just know

I welcome your dialogue

No one needs to be left in a fog of wondering

Questioning

This is a beckoning for us

To get to know each other better

Hello.

He Stripped Me...

He Stripped Me

He stripped me

Emotionally naked

Vulnerable and exposed

He unclothed my insecurities

Made space for my flaws

And loved me for all of them

He bandaged my mistakes

And showed me his for me to tend to

We traded war stories and marveled

At how far we'd come



For once, emotionally naked felt freeing

I danced around in my new skin

Revealing shortcomings openly

Knowing they'd be received non-judgmentally

Lovingly and without conditions

This position felt....right

Previously I held tight to my ugly side

Doubting anyone would be able to

Accept my dark and light

Yet he met me in the rain

And told me the sun was just ahead

If we walk a little more



What a love I knew

What joy I felt

I melted at simplicities

I breathed in appreciation

And with each breath I sighed

Gratitude.

Dear Beloved.

Dear Beloved

Dear Beloved, I see you

I see all of you

I see your muffled cries of unhappiness

Your constant efforts to hold broken pieces together

The cuts bleeding you straight to your core

How much do you have left?

Transfusing loyalty for living

Giving parts you don't even have

For what?

Fears keeps you buried in irrational thinking

Tears stain the song and dance you continue to tap

Until...

Until...

You're tapped out.



But I see you

I see all of you

My heart yearns for you to take the shades off

Show your bruises to the world

Let the sun of understanding shine

Upon the dark schema that

You don't deserve more

That you've reaching a ceiling keeping you

In this realm

You have no idea of your potential



But I see you

I see all of you

I want to give you a shovel

A crane

A bulldozer

Move this mountain of shame and doubt

Push with all your might

Fight for yourself as hard as you fight YourSelf

You too, are worth it!

If the mountain is too heavy Beloved

Move around it

Surround it with your bravery

Create your peace within

Build a dam over your waves of sorrow

For tomorrow's a new day to stand

And trust, I know

I see you

I see all of you

I am you and outside of you

Next to you

Walking with you

Together we can be


What God has intended.

I am Looking Forward

I am looking forward

I am looking forward to something to look forward to

Searching for the next door

That leads to more than dead ends

Mending these stitches in time

Trying to patch together the holes that

Life has dealt me

I am looking forward to smiling

Not just at past memories

Not the fake, teeth-showing

Lifeless eyes knowing the truth

But a full, bright grin that reflects

The color of my soul



I am looking forward to comfort within this space

Through this storm

For the clouds to break apart

And show my heart the reasons

For this season.

For night to fall

Where I don't call out for solace


I am looking forward to peace.

Meet Me In My Dreams

Meet me in my dreams, Love
Let us join hands as always
And walk in your Heaven
Show me around your life's work
To the place you graduated
Where you reaped the rewards you so longed for
And we're all trying to get to.
Let us escape into a realm where reality is a cloud, far far away
All I want is US
In a still moment where our seamless harmony made butterflies dance
Where our whispers spoke volumes to each other's desires
I miss...this.

Meet me in my dreams, Love
Allow our reunion to comfort my soul
For my heart to be whole yet again
Even if it's mere mindplay
I need a brief fallacy to soothe my dark nights
For you knighted me with the gift of holding your heart
And I did so, willingly and without complaint
Life was light and so were my steps through our path
And now as I walk alone
I yearn for your warmth by my side.

Meet me in my dreams, Love
I need your hand once more to stroke my hair
Comb over my brokenness
Smooth my edges of sadness
Remove the strands of doubt that I'll never be cherished like this again
Help me see clearly through this cold season
And continue to look upward and onward as you did.
Your touch healed mountains of mishaps
Your words calmed seas of unease
With minimal yet powerful words:
I'm here.
And you still are
I hear you tell me to breathe when I'm stressed
I hear you say "ignore foolishness" when there's nonsensical unrest
I see your joy when snowflakes hit the ground
I feel you swaying me with your favorite gospel sounds
You are here!
I know this
Yet my tears fall into a boundless pool of unfulfilled destiny
Streams of my sorrow track the face you deemed "beautiful with HD eyes"
So, realize I catch myself looking for you, Love.



My slumber throws a nightly plea
A begging that we can meet, repeat and add on
To a story written so beautifully and effortlessly
But sometimes a pen loses ink
Leaving one to think "how could it have ended"
However I cherish our commas and spaces no one sees between our parentheses
And for those I thank you, Love
So for this night, and many
Please steal me away
Refresh me with your presence
That made my heart beam
And meet me in my dreams.

Time

Time, I need to talk to you

If you’d please grant me your wares

I know they are priceless

Yet if you could offer me credit

I’d take anything you offer

for more moments with him.

Time, how frugal you were with us

I thought we had more pieces of you banked

Into our accounts of dreams and future goals

We were so sure we budgeted enough to insure us for a lifetime

But you had a different plan

Rendering us bankrupt before we played our full game.

Oh, time how cruel you can be

I know we borrowed, robbed and try to cheat our way to get more of you

But it was all for Love.

So, it was fair. Right?

For love, we put in all our chips

Rested on faith

Leaned on the Lord

Prayed for more of you to enter our lives

To, bless us with the manifestation of aspirations discussed

To create a blending of the best parts of us

More boundless bliss

But our fingertips lost our grip on you

We tried everything to hold onto you

And you, Time, you fled us in the night

Blindsighted by your trickery

I was knocked senseless into the reality

That you were indeed not on my side.

Time…you fickle spinster of joy and pain

What more could I have done?

I was loyal to you and cherished you to the fullest

I packed much purpose into the gift you gave me with him

And you played with me.

Dangled the carrot and I bit down so hard and fast

That we were speechless with happiness

Now, Time, I know I gripped you by the reins

And begged you to grant me things you could not

For you knew the answers and held them close to your heart

So I know I’m asking for an oasis in the desert of my mind

That yearns for his love to keep refreshing me

But please allow my irrational plea

And wish that I had more of you

For Us.

He Is My...

There are times we don't know what to call someone so special to us...boyfriend sounds like we're extremely young. Man sounds like...well, "man". We could call someone our mate, partner, ace, best friend...all of these things. Or, you could describe until one tires of you singing the praises of your love. This is my take on a very special person who left the world much too soon: 

He is my…

No one word can describe the volume and magnitude of his meaning to me

so I see it necessary to express the depths of his

imprint stamped on my heart.

He is my…

unlimited joy enveloped in brown skin

and a grin that melts the frozen parts of me.

He is my…

heart’s desires manifested in a surreal reality

moving me to ponder whether I am actually awake.

He is my…

every boundless dream imaginable yet finally within my reach

teaching me to forever strive for infinite possibilities

and never settle.

He is my…

rhythm in my strut, wind in my hair

for he makes me feel light

like I’m traveling on a butterfly’s wings.

He is my…

song I sing effortlessly and flawlessly

for the beauty is in the passion of the melody

not in the precision of being perfect.

I hit notes loud and right because he sees the best in me.

He is…

my radiant smile at the silliest things

He is…

my hips moving to the harmony we create in silence

He is…

more than a friend though such a foundation created this very moment

He is…

not my boyfriend for this is a Man

in every sense of the word.

From his maturity to his integrity

to the way his stride reflects wisdom in his young years.

A walk that evokes tears

by just the sheer knowledge of the hills and valleys he’s endured.

I see so much in store for

He is my…

vision I never dared to share with anyone else

for their sight was blinded by doubt and fear

But here he and I are and it’s so hard to know what to call him

I just know he is my…

Happiness in the staccato of my heartbeat

when his presence shines over my past pain

I will no longer refrain from calling him my…

Strong climax of multiple emotions

washing refreshing waves over my eroded hope.

He is my…

unlocked and untapped bliss

Breaking chains that had me rooted

in a murky existence.

He is my…

Clarity in simplicity.

My…Honesty with delicate delivery.

My…Gentleness in the eye of the storm.

For our climate is peaceful

no matter the seasons we encounter.

We even dance in the rain

appreciating God’s droplets that

leave our souls renewed and ready to conquer any challenge.

He is my…

Twinkle in these dark brown eyes

Taking in this unhindered view with new lenses.

He is my…

Provider of emotional safety

My…supporter of individuality

My…safe space to just BE.

Hence, my hesitation in naming him

Is not a minimization of his importance

I deem it the complete opposite

for it is a reflection, an introspection

a pause in my inability to be concise.

My life is and will forever be shifted by this…

By him.

where I can only find presumptuous comfort in simply calling him

my Future.