God Sends Me Flowers

He told me “God sends me flowers and you are one of them”

I didn’t know if that made me a gardenia, hydrangea or a hyacinth

But I knew I only wanted to be a help…

A joy in tumultuous period with an unknown end

I wanted to live up to the beauty a flower possesses

Delicate to the touch

Standing strong in the sun and even the rain

I wanted to be tender and sway with wherever the wind took us

I prayed for the shady days to not overshadow my brightness

For no slights in the weather to alter our climate of peace

I gave encouragement likened to the faith of a mustard seed

Breeding disbelief that my small frame could shoulder the boulders of unexpected tomorrows

Even sorrow couldn’t shake my rooting in God that it’d be alright

That he’d be alright

I stood strong in the unforced fields of discovery

We frolicked in possibility knowing only He had the final answer

Beyond mishaps and shortcomings of man

In spite of fear that sunrise would arrive without him

He held strong to his flower

Powerful hands never loosened their grip on hope and the power of prayer

Layers of doubt washed off with each morning his eyes met another day

And another day

I’d prune off weeds of sadness before I’d attempt to be what he saw in me

Making sure my petals were in full bloom

No tears when Heaven is much better than here

No uncertainty when he had such surety in salvation

As I look back, I can only hope I was even a fraction of the joy and beauty flowers convey

But just in case I was not

On his last birthday, I sent a bouquet….

Meet Me In My Dreams

Meet me in my dreams, Love
Let us join hands as always
And walk in your Heaven
Show me around your life's work
To the place you graduated
Where you reaped the rewards you so longed for
And we're all trying to get to.
Let us escape into a realm where reality is a cloud, far far away
All I want is US
In a still moment where our seamless harmony made butterflies dance
Where our whispers spoke volumes to each other's desires
I miss...this.

Meet me in my dreams, Love
Allow our reunion to comfort my soul
For my heart to be whole yet again
Even if it's mere mindplay
I need a brief fallacy to soothe my dark nights
For you knighted me with the gift of holding your heart
And I did so, willingly and without complaint
Life was light and so were my steps through our path
And now as I walk alone
I yearn for your warmth by my side.

Meet me in my dreams, Love
I need your hand once more to stroke my hair
Comb over my brokenness
Smooth my edges of sadness
Remove the strands of doubt that I'll never be cherished like this again
Help me see clearly through this cold season
And continue to look upward and onward as you did.
Your touch healed mountains of mishaps
Your words calmed seas of unease
With minimal yet powerful words:
I'm here.
And you still are
I hear you tell me to breathe when I'm stressed
I hear you say "ignore foolishness" when there's nonsensical unrest
I see your joy when snowflakes hit the ground
I feel you swaying me with your favorite gospel sounds
You are here!
I know this
Yet my tears fall into a boundless pool of unfulfilled destiny
Streams of my sorrow track the face you deemed "beautiful with HD eyes"
So, realize I catch myself looking for you, Love.



My slumber throws a nightly plea
A begging that we can meet, repeat and add on
To a story written so beautifully and effortlessly
But sometimes a pen loses ink
Leaving one to think "how could it have ended"
However I cherish our commas and spaces no one sees between our parentheses
And for those I thank you, Love
So for this night, and many
Please steal me away
Refresh me with your presence
That made my heart beam
And meet me in my dreams.

Time

Time, I need to talk to you

If you’d please grant me your wares

I know they are priceless

Yet if you could offer me credit

I’d take anything you offer

for more moments with him.

Time, how frugal you were with us

I thought we had more pieces of you banked

Into our accounts of dreams and future goals

We were so sure we budgeted enough to insure us for a lifetime

But you had a different plan

Rendering us bankrupt before we played our full game.

Oh, time how cruel you can be

I know we borrowed, robbed and try to cheat our way to get more of you

But it was all for Love.

So, it was fair. Right?

For love, we put in all our chips

Rested on faith

Leaned on the Lord

Prayed for more of you to enter our lives

To, bless us with the manifestation of aspirations discussed

To create a blending of the best parts of us

More boundless bliss

But our fingertips lost our grip on you

We tried everything to hold onto you

And you, Time, you fled us in the night

Blindsighted by your trickery

I was knocked senseless into the reality

That you were indeed not on my side.

Time…you fickle spinster of joy and pain

What more could I have done?

I was loyal to you and cherished you to the fullest

I packed much purpose into the gift you gave me with him

And you played with me.

Dangled the carrot and I bit down so hard and fast

That we were speechless with happiness

Now, Time, I know I gripped you by the reins

And begged you to grant me things you could not

For you knew the answers and held them close to your heart

So I know I’m asking for an oasis in the desert of my mind

That yearns for his love to keep refreshing me

But please allow my irrational plea

And wish that I had more of you

For Us.