Letter to My Future Husband

I want our worlds to align

Combust into a wonderful combination of what makes us glow

Circles crossing, overlapping our qualities while fine-tuning our flaws so our chords harmonize

Compliment the lows with a melody we sing even when we feel muted.

I wish to name a star that reflects our unique language

Words with meanings we keep close to our hearts

Impermeable to slick approaches the masses elevate

I want to be grounded with you.

Spiritually

Emotionally

Physically

I want our centers to meet intimately where we miss each other immediately after our love song is played

And replayed…

I want to lay my fears on your chest

Bare my soul to you and have you clothe me in your security

Your strength where my hesitance has no home in our cocoon

For I want you to give me room to spread my wings

Knowing I will always find you

Love you.

Never losing sight of your goals, I’ll be sure to support you Love

Concretely bolstering the desires of your heart

Be not afraid to plant your flower here

I’ll water your thoughts when your doubts drought you of any hope

I’ll remove your weeds of negativity when the world beats your creativity

Let me tend to you, Love.

If you need shade from the rays of pressure

Beaming a hole in you that seems inescapable,

Allow me to cool you with my calm

I have plenty of lemonade with the mess I’ve been given, Baby

Let me share my solace with you.

Help you find your peace within when the world is loud

Let’s be quiet together. 

I want only our hearts to hum soft, soothing sounds to each other

Creating bonds wrapping ribbons around our weaknesses

I want to make you better and you do the same for me.

I want every part of us that unites to ignite fire, passion

Explosive waves of joy glazing over us

Covering the sour pieces we share only with one another

I want life to be sweet.

Complete with communication emanating understanding even when we don’t speak

I wish to learn your dark side

And not judge you for keeping it hidden

They didn’t understand you but I make my vow to you

That each day I’ll peel back whatever layers you let me

I know you can’t forget your hurts

But may I please be your first-aid?

Your first responder when it all falls down

Let me catch you, my Love.

No triangles in a 2 person circle

My geometry ain’t never been great so I like to keep it simple

Let me be the shortest distance to your peace…

All these things I ask of you because I know I will give them to you

Without question

I reckon this is all premature

Because I don’t know who you are…

But I will continue to be who I am until

God brings you to me.

Nooses

The nooses have 2 chainz

The whips gleam down the streets reflecting immediate gratification

Frivolous spending instead of investing in something worthwhile

All the while we say we're oppressed but

We seal the envelope sending us into a myriad of excuses

Useless statements crying wolf

Yet Wall Street isn't that far

It just that we are confused in who keeps us down

We down for the cause makin' us wanna holler

To the choir who already knows the same song

How long will we use our lungs

Our breath on complaints regarding why we're on the same rung of the ladder

No matter how far we've come.

Lenny still wanna sell jewelry out of his jacket

We praise the ratchet for our entertainment

Kanye called it crack music

I call it a hemorrhage

Self-inflicted bruises like the crazy one from Thin Line between Love and Hate

Because that's exactly what it is

A thin line between on time and late

And we love CP time

But wait...

Our energy is exhausted into faulty reasoning

It's like our wiring needs remodeling.

We're modeling after what we know

So the smokescreen is that we can't help it

But let it be a whip

Or a chain

And we're ready to hang ourselves willingly on whatever's fresh and new

Beat the crowd to be the first to cop it

So who's to blame?

When Unlimited Seems Limiting

When Unlimited Seems Limiting


When unlimited seems limiting

When boundless seems binding

I’m finding myself in a pool of possibilities

Yet this one puddle of fear keeps me stuck

So many decisions I’m becoming indecisive

And the price is…Stagnant

Immobile

The mud and murky opaqueness of the unknown

Is blowing my mind

Showing me I need to Pray

I need to stay on my knees and plead for a yellow brick road

Rather a green light that says “Go beyond your dreams

Take a red eye and get on this early

Let the gray settle into black and white

And think about what would make your world pink again”

These sepia tones are muting my palette

I wish to be loud again

So I’m shouting above, Lord

Please order my steps

Place a border around my uncertainty

Build a fence over my hesitance

Restore the confidence I once had and let me run free

Let my wings release this anchor

These dank, dark corners of my questions beg of

Your light, Lord

If there ever was a time… I need you now.

Why Am I Chasing...

Why am I chasing something most are trying to get out of

Something people don't appreciate once they have it

Love-attracting habits turn into the ghost of Christmas past

This institution where you feel trapped

But you willingly vowed to commit

Until it all falls down

The moments that call for extreme patience

Persistence

A remembrance of the reasons you're there in the first place

Yet everyone says it changes with that proclamation

Man and Wife

You devoted your life to...?

Argue

Deceive

Omit

Leave the real you hidden until

The dead bolt has sealed your destiny

THEN it gets serious?

Was the carrot dangled

Then mangled in the blender along with

Who you used to be?

A lost identity

And this is what I want...



The green I glean regarding my freedom

The ability I have that no one depends on me

No suspending my goals or dreams for anyone

Rendering boundless aspirations where only I stand in my way

Yet...this is the marathon I train for

When many are dying to run away

I take practice runs

Jogs around a field of maybe

Stealing looks at the finish line

Of what exactly?

I Hope My Words Reach You

I Hope My Words Reach You


I hope my words reach you

Teach you a few things you didn't know

See, many think they have me figured out

By labels

By appearance

By highlights

But my writing, greater than any assumption

Is a window into my truth.

I hope when you look in

That you see all of me

Not just what looks good

But the ugly scars I've covered up from falling

My calling, I believe

Is for you to relate

For you to take in my reality

And realize we've all been "here"

That you're not alone

That the human experience is bound together by Love

Pain

And Suffering.

I'm not buffering you from my darkness

You're in

The only sin is if you don't lean IN

And ask a question or two

I'm opening the door for you...

So I'll let you drive where we go

Just know

I welcome your dialogue

No one needs to be left in a fog of wondering

Questioning

This is a beckoning for us

To get to know each other better

Hello.

He Stripped Me...

He Stripped Me

He stripped me

Emotionally naked

Vulnerable and exposed

He unclothed my insecurities

Made space for my flaws

And loved me for all of them

He bandaged my mistakes

And showed me his for me to tend to

We traded war stories and marveled

At how far we'd come



For once, emotionally naked felt freeing

I danced around in my new skin

Revealing shortcomings openly

Knowing they'd be received non-judgmentally

Lovingly and without conditions

This position felt....right

Previously I held tight to my ugly side

Doubting anyone would be able to

Accept my dark and light

Yet he met me in the rain

And told me the sun was just ahead

If we walk a little more



What a love I knew

What joy I felt

I melted at simplicities

I breathed in appreciation

And with each breath I sighed

Gratitude.

Dear Beloved.

Dear Beloved

Dear Beloved, I see you

I see all of you

I see your muffled cries of unhappiness

Your constant efforts to hold broken pieces together

The cuts bleeding you straight to your core

How much do you have left?

Transfusing loyalty for living

Giving parts you don't even have

For what?

Fears keeps you buried in irrational thinking

Tears stain the song and dance you continue to tap

Until...

Until...

You're tapped out.



But I see you

I see all of you

My heart yearns for you to take the shades off

Show your bruises to the world

Let the sun of understanding shine

Upon the dark schema that

You don't deserve more

That you've reaching a ceiling keeping you

In this realm

You have no idea of your potential



But I see you

I see all of you

I want to give you a shovel

A crane

A bulldozer

Move this mountain of shame and doubt

Push with all your might

Fight for yourself as hard as you fight YourSelf

You too, are worth it!

If the mountain is too heavy Beloved

Move around it

Surround it with your bravery

Create your peace within

Build a dam over your waves of sorrow

For tomorrow's a new day to stand

And trust, I know

I see you

I see all of you

I am you and outside of you

Next to you

Walking with you

Together we can be


What God has intended.